so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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