just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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