i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
