Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
