it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
