i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
