Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
