remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
