Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
