I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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