i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
