Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
