He asked to "fluff my boner.."
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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