I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
