Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
