if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
