it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
