I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
