Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
