Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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