420 ftw
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
