I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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