dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
