Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
