yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
