Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
