she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
