also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
