I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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