i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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