I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
