Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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