is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
