cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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