her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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