He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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