Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
