garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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