there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
