It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
