Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I love black thongs
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
