i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
