woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
