you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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