So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
