Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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