p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
