oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
