Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
