Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
