I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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