I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
